Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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