You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
