ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
