I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
