I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
