i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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