he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I want her autograph on my taint
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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