found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
