then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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