so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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