dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize