I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
