he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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