Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just forgot I was standing up.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
