She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
