Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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