She's JV to your varsity
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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