then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
