I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
