so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
