bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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