my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just cropdusted the office
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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