yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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