There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
People in love make me want to vomit
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
