There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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