so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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