how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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