she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Girls should come with a carfax report
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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