My room smells like vodka and shame
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
my being single is dangerous.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
