I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And then my night got REAL pukey
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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