Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
