when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
