Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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