In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
