bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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