go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
