im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
