Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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