Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
