I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
