i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
