I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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