Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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