dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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