we have pet lesbian snakes
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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