Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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