we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize