What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
