Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize