I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
