apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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