none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
