haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
