I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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