Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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