i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
