Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So much Jack, so little girl.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize