Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
