the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
wow bdsm is so cute
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
