Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
