I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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