I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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