How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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