I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
